There are moments when every option feels overwhelming, and the weight of making the wrong choice keeps you up at night. I found myself in that exact spot, wrestling with a decision that would alter the course of my future.
The answer I needed wasn’t in advice from friends or a pros-and-cons list—I needed clarity that no human could give. What followed was a process I didn’t expect: days of struggle, prayer, and surprising peace.
This is the story of how I found direction when it mattered most.
As a young Christian, I was engaged to the woman who led me to the Lord. I’d fallen hard for her, and my emotions ran high. After two years, we were finally getting close to setting a date but an event made me realize I had never asked Father about HIS will concerning this relationship.
To tell you the truth, before that event, I didn't even KNOW to ask.
Since she led me to the Lord, I assumed she would be a good marriage partner. It never dawned on me to ask God’s advice, and that new awareness hit me like a brick.
I’d already gone through ONE marriage, and I didn’t want to repeat THAT mistake.
I started with this:
God not only sees the future, he sees our hearts. He knows what’s going on inside and how that sets the path for the future.
He not only knows what’s BEST, he WANTS what’s best for you.
I was YOUNG in the Lord. I didn’t know much about prayer. I knew very little about how to get answers from God. BUT I HAD TO KNOW, and prayer was the only way I could think of to get the right answer.
I had a job, so I couldn’t just drop everything and shut myself in a closet. What I could do, though, was pray at every opportunity.
My job required a lot of driving, so I spent hours in my car praying in tongues each day.
I had a burning desire to know God’s will regarding this situation, which drove me to seek Him. So at every possible moment, I turned my heart to God in prayer.
There were times when my prayers would break into tears and sobbing. It was heart-wrenching to think I was laying something so precious on the altar of God.
I was saying, “Here, God. I want YOUR will, and I’m willing to give up this relationship if it’s NOT your will. Whatever you want for me, whatever you think is best, THAT is what I will do. No matter how much it may hurt. Why? Because YOU know best.”
At night, I prepared my meal and then sat down with my Bible.
I wanted to focus my mind on the things of God, and I wanted WISDOM. So I spent a lot of time reading the book of Proverbs. Then I would pour out my heart in prayer until I went to bed.
The next day, I would do it all over again.
Time didn’t matter to me. I wanted to KNOW more than anything else in the world. I wanted to know more than I wanted food, more than I wanted to sleep, more than I wanted social interaction with others.
I was willing to take as long as it took.
There were times when I thought, “My God, this is hard. How much longer will I need to do this?” But that was just my “flesh” wanting something valuable without the work.
Going through the process was “work.” The lazy part of me wanted to say it was too hard. Resistance tried to convince me to give up and go ahead with my original plan.
Then, on the 10th day of prayer, PEACE dropped into my heart - into the core of my being.
There was no doubt in my heart or mind.
It was CLEAR.
There was no more fog surrounding the issue. No more confusion. No more struggle.
That moment was so monumental that I could take you to the place on the road where it happened.
I “knew that I knew that I knew that I knew.” And I knew the only one who could talk me out of that “knowing” was me.
You’ve probably guessed the answer was “No. Don’t marry her.”
Sad?
Yes. But I knew it was right.
I don’t know why the answer was “No.” It doesn’t matter.
I didn’t need to understand why. I just needed to know. So why argue with the One who knows everything and loves me more than I can imagine?
Why turn away from His counsel? Why do it MY way when I knew going against HIS counsel would set me up for failure?
The peace I had was so strong, so real. It settled the question, finally, once and for all.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act AS AN UMPIRE continually) in your hearts [DECIDING AND SETTLING WITH FINALITY all questions that arise in your minds].”
– Colossians 3:15 AMPC
In baseball, the umpire is “king.” Whatever he says is the final decision.
The batter can yell. The manager can yell. They can wave their arms angrily and go through all kinds of theatricals. But whatever the umpire says is the final decision.
In times of confusion, you can pray through to the answer.
When you receive that PEACE FROM GOD, let it rule. Let it settle every question that might arise WITH ALL FINALITY.
Most of my friends couldn’t understand the decision. Some suggested I hadn’t heard God or argued I hadn’t received enough counsel from others who were “more spiritual.”
But I had the “RHEMA of God.” And FAITH COMES by hearing the RHEMA of God.
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word [the rhema] of God.
- Romans 10:17 NKJV
The RHEMA, the PEACE, the ANSWER came by PRAYING THROUGH - continuing to pray until I knew I had the answer.
I knew what THE answer was and that mine was the RIGHT decision.
Was it easy walking it out? Was it easy breaking the news to her and her family?
No.
But it was right.
YOU can get answers from God, too, IF you’re willing to press through until you get PEACE.
“But how will I KNOW?” you ask.
You’ll know when you know. Believe me, you’ll know.
And when you pray this way ONCE, you’ll understand how to pray for ANY situation.
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.
- John 16:13 NLTThe Holy Spirit helps us in our inability to produce results, for we don't know what to pray for as we should... And He always prays in accordance with the will of God.
- Romans 8:26-27 Paraphased from the GreekAnd the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.
- Romans 8:27 NLTFAITH comes by hearing. What KIND of hearing? Hearing a RHEMA that comes FROM God.
- Romans 10:17 Paraphrased from the Greek.Believe God is AND that he is a REWARDER of those who diligently seek him.
- Hebrews 11:6b KJVKeep on asking, and it will be given you; keep on seeking, and you will find; keep on knocking, and [the door] will be opened to you.
- Matthew 7:7 AMPC